Okay, so I haven't blogged for a while. The main reason is...THE BURRITO DIET!!!
Every winter I put on about 20 pounds, and every summer I take off about 15. This has been going on pretty much since I finished high school, so you can imagine a serious case of thunder thighs has ensued. If I did that one photo per day thing, it would look like someone took a blow-up doll shaped like me and started pumping it full of jell-o far beyond its normal mechanical tolerances. And ripping out its hair. So, I decided that drastic action was required.
And thus the BURRITO DIET was born. It works like this:
Every day I get 2400 calories, which is supposedly what I'm supposed to eat to maintain my target weight. So it's not really much of a diet, since I'm eating a not insignificant amount of calories. But just counting them and keeping myself honest helps.
800 of those calories come from a delicious Chipotle burrito for lunch, which is nice and big and probably has some kind of nutrients, like maybe zinc or something. I don't go for any of that hippie crap like beans or salsa. I like tortilla, meat, and cheese, and that's it. And rice. Here is my burrito:
Some misguided souls will try to tell you that a Qdoba burrito is better, but they are wrong, and here is the proof:
If that's not some kind of alien slug larva, I don't know what is. (I ripped off that photo from a site where it came with the caption, "It wasn't very good." I believe it.)
Anyway, I get 800 more calories for dinner, and then a final 800 calories for whatever crap I want to eat before bed. And that's the Burrito Diet.
Oh, and I work out a whole bunch too.
Just walking to get the burrito is a mile and a bit, so that's 200 calories right there. I also climb 20 flights of stairs at work, twice a day, for another 200. And then I'll walk or jog another five miles or so when I get home. All told, that's about two hours of pretty solid exercise, totalling maybe 1200 all together. My goal is to keep doing this until I get my weight down to a point where it won't gelatinize my knee cartilage to go running, and then maybe train for next year's marathon again.
And so far it's been working. After 7 weeks, I've lost nearly 20 pounds, which, according to my math above, has already bought me four guilt-free years of slovenly overeating, should I return to my former ways. But I think I'll keep going with it. If current trends continue, by the end of the summer the ladies should be all up ons.
Please take a number. Mine is 127. 