The Burrito Diet

Okay, so I haven't blogged for a while.  The main reason is...THE BURRITO DIET!!!

Every winter I put on about 20 pounds, and every summer I take off about 15.  This has been going on pretty much since I finished high school, so you can imagine a serious case of thunder thighs has ensued.  If I did that one photo per day thing, it would look like someone took a blow-up doll shaped like me and started pumping it full of jell-o far beyond its normal mechanical tolerances.  And ripping out its hair.  So, I decided that drastic action was required.

And thus the BURRITO DIET was born.  It works like this:

Every day I get 2400 calories, which is supposedly what I'm supposed to eat to maintain my target weight.  So it's not really much of a diet, since I'm eating a not insignificant amount of calories.  But just counting them and keeping myself honest helps.

800 of those calories come from a delicious Chipotle burrito for lunch, which is nice and big and probably has some kind of nutrients, like maybe zinc or something.  I don't go for any of that hippie crap like beans or salsa.  I like tortilla, meat, and cheese, and that's it.  And rice.  Here is my burrito:

Some misguided souls will try to tell you that a Qdoba burrito is better, but they are wrong, and here is the proof:

If that's not some kind of alien slug larva, I don't know what is.  (I ripped off that photo from a site where it came with the caption, "It wasn't very good."  I believe it.)

Anyway, I get 800 more calories for dinner, and then a final 800 calories for whatever crap I want to eat before bed.  And that's the Burrito Diet.

Oh, and I work out a whole bunch too.

Just walking to get the burrito is a mile and a bit, so that's 200 calories right there.  I also climb 20 flights of stairs at work, twice a day, for another 200.  And then I'll walk or jog another five miles or so when I get home.  All told, that's about two hours of pretty solid exercise, totalling maybe 1200 all together.  My goal is to keep doing this until I get my weight down to a point where it won't gelatinize my knee cartilage to go running, and then maybe train for next year's marathon again.

And so far it's been working.  After 7 weeks, I've lost nearly 20 pounds, which, according to my math above, has already bought me four guilt-free years of slovenly overeating, should I return to my former ways.  But I think I'll keep going with it.  If current trends continue, by the end of the summer the ladies should be all up ons.